you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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