Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
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i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town