so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag