My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.