I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
