What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
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Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.