you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.