I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,