Nicole vs. Life
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.