i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize