Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
