my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
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