also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
