Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
