I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
