Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
