no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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