My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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