he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
