my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
