then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
