I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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