the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
