My sheets look like a crime scene.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Floor bacon is actually really good
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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