Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize