He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
