It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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