Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
