so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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