All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
