I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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