Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
