the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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