No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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