guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
