Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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