Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
