I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize