Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
