Already got asked if we're dating
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I intend to get homeless drunk
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
