is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
