Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
