Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
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Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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