Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
