She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.