ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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