Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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