So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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