Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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