I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
