fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
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The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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