so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
