Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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