Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
