Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
