THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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