Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
