I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
