Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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