kristin has been a bad kristin
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
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I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
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