My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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