So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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