Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage