Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Don't EVER smell your tampon
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.