it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.