Texts From Last Night

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  (585): View more from New York

  he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him

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  (585): he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him http://tfl.nu/zn8x
  Replies (22) Good night (512) Bad night (2827)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.

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  (636): I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher. http://tfl.nu/pfmp
  Replies (132) Good night (8546) Bad night (861)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh. He liked you.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."

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  (970): Oh. He liked you. (970): Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado." http://tfl.nu/je5x
  Replies (22) Good night (1209) Bad night (3360)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!

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  (985): Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!! http://tfl.nu/9t2j
  Replies (60) Good night (6260) Bad night (1723)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (6025) Bad night (972)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work

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  (816): Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work http://tfl.nu/ppy0
  Replies (16) Good night (1697) Bad night (3694)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.

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  (423): This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are. http://tfl.nu/kzc0
  Replies (8) Good night (2472) Bad night (851)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination

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  (904): so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination http://tfl.nu/nopp
  Replies (5) Good night (2309) Bad night (964)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  When did you hit me on the head with a stool?

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  (416): When did you hit me on the head with a stool? http://tfl.nu/9f4x
  Replies (10) Good night (934) Bad night (1405)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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  (708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe
  Replies (5) Good night (2968) Bad night (560)
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  (315): View more from New York

  So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.

  (315): View more from New York

  They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.

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  (315): So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers. (315): They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair. http://tfl.nu/om27
  Replies (10) Good night (1585) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it

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  (424): This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it http://tfl.nu/0y9z
  Replies (2) Good night (1169) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked

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  (214): we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked http://tfl.nu/kx03
  Replies (2) Good night (985) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.

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  (443): 6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego. http://tfl.nu/2reg
  Replies (1) Good night (598) Bad night (266)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.

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  (503): When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick. http://tfl.nu/61vn
  Replies (2) Good night (644) Bad night (237)

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