So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
