hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize