The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
